languor.

11:32



Sluggish.

That's how I feel these days. I have to drag myself out of bed, and mentally kick myself a few times to make sure I'm really awake and my brain's functioning.

While my friends have self-declared holidays (university life is pretty much own-time-own-target - you can skip school and watch the webcasts of lectures in the comfort of your home), I still force myself to take the almost-hour-long journey to school. I could have been like them, lazing around at home, but my commitments... sighs.

On the bright side, I guess I will be motivated to study/revise (since I'm already in school). It hasn't really occurred to me that CA3 will be in around 2 weeks. It seemed just like last week that CA2 was over! Even though the profs say that it would be a 25-MCQ test, much like a pop quiz, on the anatomy of the abdomen and gastrointestinal physiology, I'm quite worried. Fewer questions would mean a higher likelihood of screwing up. Each question now has a higher weightage! Maybe I should get back to studying. I've been neglecting revision for quite some time...

Honestly, I'm getting sick of the routine mugging. Sure, CA1's hardcore mugging paid off. At least I earned a DT (Distinction). But I wasn't happy then. I didn't enjoy staying in the library till 6pm every single day. Neither did I feel any satisfaction or joy in completing the thick readings. I was practically moody and brimming with negativity for the entire pre-CA1 period.

Post-CA1, I thought long and hard about the kind of life I wanted. I didn't want to end up as a no-lifer mugger. I didn't want to push myself too hard and burn out before I graduate from medical school. I wanted balance. Study-life balance. I needed a change in perspective. For CA2, I decided to take it easy. I felt so much better, less-burdened, less stressed. Grades aren't everything. I figured I won't be able to get DT for CA2 but if I were to choose between grades and happiness, I'll choose the latter over the former anytime!

With the change in mindset, I guess the spontaneous side in me is surfacing. On Thursday, there was this sudden urge to go visit Jes all the way at Pulau NTU. I just went to Pioneer right after lecture, hopped onto a bus, and went to find her at her hall. Her hall was new and it looked really condo-like and nice. We chatted for quite some time, and mugged in her room. It was quite cool knowing about what LKCMed's syllabus was like and we had some really intellectually stimulating discussion on the cardiovascular system's physiology and what to do in cases of hypovolemic shock. haha. That's my inner nerd speaking.

Friday's Playhouse dance rehearsal was intense. The 3.5-hour long practice was definitely a great workout. I made some new friends (YAY) and it was pretty comical watching how ridiculous we look in the mirrors. The dance moves were crazy. By that, I mean, LITERALLY crazy. There goes my image. >.<

With the actual Playhouse performance coming up in less than a month, we're having rehearsals on Tuesdays (on top of Fridays). That means I can't go for Ryan's Street Jazz Open classes. :(

Maybe I'll go for Xuehui's Saturday classes from next week onwards. I was too shagged from yesterday to travel all the way to *SCAPE today for classes. Anyway, the huge ugly bruises on my knee from Tuesday's floor work still hurts. I didn't really want to do more floor work today and aggravate the injury. And note to self: I have to buy more dance pants and those tank tops for dance from Bugis Street/*SCAPE underground.

Time to get back to webcasting lectures and reading Constanzo's physiology! T____T




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